im barely 100 lbs my skin is hanging on my bones. Ive just been diagnosed as bipolar. Im severly depressed. Dont want to bathe clean or eat. Im a addict i cant stop. Its killing me. Cps is investgating me im so afraid ill lose my daughter. The thought of it steals the air from my lungs. It hurts her so much to see me this way. And im ashamed for her to see it. Theres not one single person that i can talk to. I want to run away. But i cant. I live with my girlfriend in her mothers home. She is always cheating on me. Shes not particular about with whom. Shes lazy. And the most selfish person ive ever met. I cant see a way out of this. I have become immobilized. The irs says i owe them 3000.00 that just tops it. I told cps that i want to go to rehab. I have to or im going to either die or go insane. If i lose my daughter......ill lose the only reason i have.

I need help. I have noone to talk to. I might lose my daughter. Its killing me and im out of control. I cant stop. Im all alone. Even my girlfriend keeps cheating on me. My parents have turned their back and it hurts it always has. A person needs to feel loved. I want to die. But i cant i love my daughter too much. Im 40 and ive lived like this for too long. I think its a curse from god. Its not fair. But whats fair? Someone make it stop. It hurts so deep inside. Drugs are evil.

There are no words that can tell you whats inside of me tonite. I feel lost. I am an addict. And i cant stop what im doing. It makes me want to die. Its hurting somone i love more than life its self. My daughter. My heart aches. She cries. I love her so much. I want to die. But i cant. Shes only 14. I need help. I cant keep doing this. How do you stop something you cant control

I feel like im in it all alone i wonder why ive been chosen to suffer ive been doing this for years and im done with it but the caatch is that its not done with me. Ive been using again me and my wife. She has a history of attemping suicide. Several time one time not too long ago her heart stopped within minutes of getting her to the hospital. They were able to bring her back but she was unconcious and could not breath on her own for a while. She was in icu with a machine breathing for her. She did recover but had to learn how to walk and talk again. I changed her diapers. She was in a psyciatric facility for a while. We are addicts. And addicts who dont want to use but who still cant stop have alot of pain. She just got out of rehab on dec 24. And tonight she ate a bunch of pills again and then stabbed herself and tried to slit her own throat. I was able to get the knife away and called 911. Im tired of living life like this. Sometimes it seems to be no way out.

i cant stop its hurting everything i love but it keeps going it takes from me using my two hands to do it spits lies from my own mouth and brings darkness into my sight for those breif few moments im whole amongst my tatterd limbs left to weak to stand and face myself left loathing the part of me that doesnt see the end and clinging to the part that needs for it to end